[Intro]
B B7 Esus2 F#7sus4 F#7
[Verse]
B B7
Sid Vicious played a four-string Fender bass guitar and couldn't sing
Esus2 F#7sus4 F#7
And everybody hated him except the ones who loved him
B B7
A ukulele has four strings, but Sid did not play ukulele
Esus2 F#7sus4 F#7
He did smack and probably killed his girlfriend Nancy Spungen
[Verse]
B B7
If only Sid had had a ukulele, maybe he could have been happy
Esus2 F#7sus4 F#7
Maybe he would not have suffered such a sad end
B B7
He maybe would have not done all that heroin instead
Esus2 F#7sus4 F#7
He maybe would've sat around just singing nice songs to his girlfriend
[Chorus]
B B7
So play your favorite cover song, especially if the words are wrong
Esus2 F#7sus4 F#7
Cos even if your grades are bad, it doesn't mean you're failing
B B7
Do your homework with a fork and eat your fruit loops in the dark
Esus2 F#7sus4 F#7
And bring your etch-a-sketch to work and play your ukulele
[Bridge]
Esus2 F#7
Ukulele small and forceful, ukulele, brave and peaceful
B Esus2
You can play the ukulele too it is painfully simple
Esus2 F#7
Play your ukulele badly, play your ukulele loudly
A6
Ukulele banish evil, ukulele save the people,
Ukulele gleaming golden on the top of every steeple
[Verse]
B B7
Lizzie Borden took an axe, and gave her mother forty whacks
Esus2 F#7sus4 F#7
Then gave her father forty-one, and left a tragic puzzle
B B7
If only they had given her an instrument, those puritans
Esus2 F#7sus4 F#7
Had lost the plot completely, see what happens when you muzzle
[Verse]
B B7
A person's creativity and do not let them sing and scream
Esus2 F#7sus4 F#7
And nowadays it's worse 'cause kids have automatic handguns
B B7
It takes about an hour to teach someone to play the ukulele
Esus2 F#7sus4 F#7
About same to teach someone to build a standard pipe bomb you do the math-s-
[Chorus]
B B7
So play your favorite cover song, especially if the words are wrong
Esus2 F#7sus4 F#7
Cos even if your grades are bad, it doesn't mean you're failing
B B7
Do your homework with a fork and eat your fruit loops in the dark
Esus2 F#7sus4 F#7
And bring your flask of Jack to work and play your ukulele
[Bridge]
Esus2 F#7
Ukulele, thing of wonder, ukulele, wand of thunder
B Esus2
You can play the ukulele too in London and Down Under
Esus2 F#7
Play Joan Jett, and play Jacques Brel and Eminem and Neutral Milk
A6
Tell the children crush the hatred, play your ukulele naked
If anybody tries to steal your ukulele, let them take it
[Verse]
B B7
Imagine there's no music, imagine there are no songs
Esus2 F#7sus4 F#7
Imagine that John Lennon wasn't shot in front of his apartment
B B7 Esus2
Now imagine if John Lennon had composed "Imagine" for the ukulele
F#7sus4 F#7
Maybe people would have truly got the message
[Verse]
B B7
You may think my approach is simple-minded and naive
Esus2 F#7sus4 F#7
Like if you want to change the world then why not quit and feed the hungry
B B7
But people for millennia have needed music to survive
Esus2 F#7sus4 F#7
And that's why I've promised John that I will not feel guilty
[Verse]
B B7
So play your favorite Beatles song and make the subway fall in love
Esus2 F#7sus4 F#7
They're only $19.95, that isn't lots of money
B B7
Play until the sun comes up and play until your fingers suffer
Esus2 F#7sus4 F#7
Play LCD Soundsystem songs on your ukulele
[Verse]
B B7
Quit the bitching on your blog and stop pretending art is hard
Esus2 F#7sus4 F#7
Just limit yourself to three chords and do not practice daily
B B7
You'll minimize some stranger's sadness with a piece of wood and plastic
Esus2 F#7sus4 F#7
Holy fuck it's so fantastic, playing ukulele
[Verse]
B B7
Eat your homework with a fork and do your fruit loops in the dark
Esus2
And bring your flask of Jack to work, your etch-a-sketch, your vibrator
your fear of heights, your Nikon lens
[Verse]
B B7
Your mom and dad, your disco stick, your soundtrack from "Karate Kid"
Esus2 F#7sus4 F#7
Your Ginsu knives, your rosary, your new Rebecca Black CD
B B7
Your favorite room, your bowie knife, your stuffed giraffe, your new glass eye
Esus2 F#7sus4 F#7
Your sousaphone, your breakfast tea, your Nick Drake tapes, your giving tree
B B7
Your ice cream truck, your missing wife, your will to live, your urge to cry
Esus2
Remember we're all going to die
B B
so play your ukulele